


Looking For Love in the Distance

by anneblacks



Series: when you've got this open road and the sun is shining [1]
Category: Keeper of the Lost Cities Series - Shannon Messenger
Genre: (I deeply apologize to the tag wranglers), Alternate Universe - Bands, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Musicians, Kisses, Love Confessions, M/M, heck yeah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:28:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26568805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anneblacks/pseuds/anneblacks
Summary: They’re thirteen hours out from San Diego--if all goes wrong Tam can just, maybe, drive away and hide in San Francisco so he can never be seen again. It’s a solid Plan B.“Keefe?” Tam asks before he can back out. Keefe makes a noise of acknowledgment; Tam resolutely does not look over, instead focusing on getting up with steady legs. “I have to tell you something.”Keefe lets the silence permeate the air for all of four seconds before saying, “Okay?”“I,” and Tamblanks.He pauses. “Don’t… know what I was going to say.”I love you,his head reminds him, and he bats it away and corrects himself, “Don’t know how to say it.” Keefe huffs out a laugh and turns around to lean back on the railing, and Tam loses his tongue again.Or: Tam and Keefe are in a band together; the end of tour brings about confessions from both parties.
Relationships: Keefe Sencen & Dex Dizznee (implied), Keefe Sencen/Tam Song, Tam Song & Amy Foster (mentioned), Tam Song & Sophie Foster (implied)
Series: when you've got this open road and the sun is shining [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1932376
Comments: 8
Kudos: 27





	Looking For Love in the Distance

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from I Feel Good About This by The Mowgli's--who are very roadtrip music-y alternative rock(/folk i think like seven years ago, too) and inspired a lot of fics about roadtrips. This is the first completed fic to come out of listening to their music.

They’re not far out from San Diego now, having finished their last show only three hours ago and shaken off the post-show high by the time they’d located their hotel rooms; Sophie had offered up a board game and they’d fallen asleep sprawled over the beds halfway through Settlers. Tam had snuck out of their room shortly after that.

The night--still young--glitters back at him as he plays around with a melody for a few lyrics Amy had come up with on the drive over the state borders; she was trying out her hand at it and she’d come up with a decent melody. If Tam was any less distracted by his own head, he’d be irrationally proud of her for it.

He blinks as the balcony door slides open, breaking off from the melody he was humming, and there’s Keefe, looking like he just woke up but has no intention of going back to bed. He pauses in the middle of his steps, squinting at Tam, but steps out onto the balcony after a moment of hesitation.

“What are you doing out here?” Keefe asks, voice sleepy, wrapping one of the bedsheets around himself and looking out at the not-much-of-a-view from the balcony. “‘S like three in the morning.”

Tam hums and leans back on the wall, still strumming soft chords. “Thinking.”

Keefe huffs out a soft laugh. “Care to share with the rest of the class?” he asks, teasing. Tam looks over and is, again, caught in the beauty Tam holds within himself--his eyes have caught the moonlight in them and he’s just smiling, gentle, at the world outside the balcony, as if he doesn’t notice he affects Tam in the slightest. _I love you,_ says Tam’s heartbeat, the very blood in his veins, and Keefe just continues shining.

Tam shakes his head, pulling himself out of his mind, and lets his hands fall onto his lap. “It’s stupid stuff.” He quickly corrects himself, remembering their agreement of amiability: “Just… going home. I thought we’d have more time.”

Keefe hums, leans out on the railing. “Not stupid,” he says, “Me too. Won’t be long until we’re out there again, though--Biana’s already ready for, uh, what was it, Route 66? By the time we get back she’ll have the schedule planned down to the letter.”

“Yeah,” Tam laughs; he blinks down at his hands and tries not to stare.

There’s been too much time spent watching Keefe and pretending to hate him even as he appeared in lines of poetry and songs, glacier blue eyes and sunshine smile inescapable. He’s thought about it for months now--he’s got no way of knowing if Keefe feels the same way, really, but. They’re thirteen hours out from San Diego. If all goes wrong Tam can just, maybe, drive away and hide in San Francisco so he can never be seen again. It’s a solid Plan B.

“Keefe?” Tam asks before he can back out. Keefe makes a noise of acknowledgment; Tam resolutely does not look over, instead focusing on getting up with steady legs. “I have to tell you something.”

Keefe lets the silence permeate the air for all of four seconds before saying, “Okay?”

“I,” and Tam _blanks._ He pauses. “Don’t… know what I was going to say.” _I love you,_ his head reminds him, and he bats it away and corrects himself, “Don’t know how to say it.” Keefe huffs out a laugh and turns around to lean back on the railing, and Tam loses his tongue again.

“You good, Tam?” Keefe asks, amusement fading into sincerity. Tam hears an echo of a past conversation in that question--a party, a lot of freezing, hiding in the corner just to try and get away from the feelings he was drowning in--remembers eventually resigning himself to them. He’d told himself he could survive tour without screwing anything up, and he _has,_ really, so what’s to say he can’t survive another one if the only thing he can do is stare at the fact that Tam’s gaze has knocked the right words out of him?

He shakes his head, starting to turn around to head for the door, and says out loud, “We have to get up early, I should--”

Keefe blurts out, “The songs are about you,” and Tam chokes on air.

When he turns around to look, heart in his throat, Keefe has his eyes directed skyward and he’s wrapped himself up tighter in his sheet. “That wasn’t the way that I meant to say that,” he says, sounding frustrated, but eventually elaborates, “The ones that I wrote, all the love songs, it’s--I mean, it’s stupid, but we made that truce and then suddenly all of them were about you and I…” he trails off, taking a deep breath, and lets out a bitter-sounding laugh, “had to get the feelings out somewhere.”

It’s a line from one of the songs on the album the band has been working on while on tour--Tam turns fully around and guesses hesitantly even as the lyrics rush back to his mind, “Sacred Space?”

Keefe nods; his eyes fix themselves on the ground firmly.

“But you said they were about Fitz. I thought you still…” Tam tries, but falters, “you guys aren’t…?”

“No, I-- _no,_ just--” Keefe shakes his head, “we never, I just, it’s just you. Only you.” He huffs out a nervous laugh, and Tam sees his hands emerging from the sheets to let them slide back over his shoulders, shaking slightly. “Uh--Dex had to redo so many of the lyrics because they sounded so much like you. And I didn’t--I didn’t tell you because it was… too terrifying to think about, really, but…”

“All of my songs--” he breaks off, thinking fiercely for the right way to say it.

Keefe’s gaze flickers up. “What about them?”

“They’re all about you,” Tam says, and lets it fall in a breath, “Alpenglow and Sunshine--all of them. Sophie had to do the same for mine, so you’re--you’re not alone in that, I thought you heard some of the lyrics.” He takes a step forward, trying to see if there’s any trace of something that means he should back off.

“I heard them,” Keefe says carefully.

Tam furrows his brows. “But you never said anything?”

Keefe lets him step forward until they’re standing in each other’s space and Tam reaches out-- to grasp something, he doesn’t know--his hand coming to rest on where Keefe is holding the bulk of the sheet now. “I didn’t want to lose you,” Keefe tells him softly, and his eyes come up to meet Tam’s, “not if you didn’t want me.”

Neither of them move for the longest moment.

Tam pauses, feels the same elation that he felt the first time he made Keefe laugh, imagines Keefe feeling that for _him_ \--he takes one more step forward.

And then he leans up with a whispered, “Of _course_ I want you, Keefe,” and kisses him.

It’s fierce because he means it to be. He just wants to press himself into Keefe and never let go, wants the ache of his teeth and the softness of Keefe’s mouth impressed on his forever. This--this is _him_ and this is _Keefe_ and he’s never felt the fire under his fingertips burn as hellacious as it is right now.

But then there’s gentle fingertips on his jaw, a thumb brushing over his cheekbone, and it eases into something softer, something that leaves him breathless and aching and clutching tightly onto Keefe’s shirt.

When they break apart they’re too close for him to focus--Tam settles on resting his chin on Keefe’s shoulder and letting his hands fall away so he can link them around his waist. He tries catching his breath and loses it again when he feels Keefe press a kiss to the side of his forehead.

“Sorry,” Keefe says after doing it, sounding as breathless as Tam and not at all apologetic. “I can do this now, right?”

Tam huffs out a laugh and leans back, knows Keefe can probably see the tears glistening in his eyes and for once maybe doesn’t even care because he can tell he’s not the only one who’s about to start crying. “I was going to tell you, you know.”

“About?”

“How I’m--” Tam pauses. He can save that for later, can’t he, and he’s still terrified at how simple this feels right now. “About the songs. Like, two seconds before you did. You beat me there.”

Keefe looks affronted--he’d probably hold a dramatic hand to his chest if they weren’t still so close, “You were chickening out two seconds before I said anything.”

Tam sticks out his tongue in response. “I was _close._ ”

“You--” Keefe rolls his eyes, shaking his head, but he’s grinning. “I write all these songs and I still don’t know how to describe you.”

“Easier when you’re not looking at me?” Tam teases, not wanting to move his hands but doing it anyway so that he can see the boy in front of him.

“Oh, screw off, I could absolutely write a song while watching you,” and Keefe’s grin is fierce.

Tam refuses to try and hide the way his own mouth curves into a fond smile. “Sure you could,” he says, and Keefe, laughing, leans down to kiss him again.

“Try me,” he whispers against Tam’s mouth.

Tam takes that for what it is--a challenge--and by the next month they’ve got an album compiled of thirteen songs compiled of several long nights filled with pranks and other wild attempts to stop the other from finishing a song. When the time comes to name it, Linh throws in _Lovesick Idiots,_ Biana vouches to call it _Lovesick Idiots In Love,_ and Tam just shakes his head and kisses the laughter off of Keefe’s mouth.

**Author's Note:**

> An extra bit from the end that I cut bc I was too tired: (They eventually make it to the title _Can’t Take My Eyes Off You,_ because Sophie Foster is a genius--Keefe designs the album cover, his eyes and Tam’s on the front, the rest of the band’s littered throughout the CD and songbook design. He’s indescribably proud of it.)
> 
> Anyway this is so much shorter than I expected it to be (I had a multi-chaptered fic planned, but alas, school), but I'm still okay with it haha. Can't write much about it other than that 1. there's quite a few of the song titles inspired by actual songs/lyrics that exist because I wrote them, so there's a fun fact for you--some of the songs Keefe (and Tam??) wrote actually exist! and 2. I might work on some additions to this au because _come on._ It's a _band AU_ what do you expect from me. Check back every so often just in case I do get to those!
> 
> That's really all I had to say, high time I wrapped this up, so let's go through the spiel again--if you liked it leave a kudos and/or let me know what you think in the comments: both make my day and they're equally wonderful ways to let an author know that their story is at least halfway decent. Hope you enjoyed this fic!
> 
> (Also, hello, P.S., come yell at me on [tumblr](https://brilliantblindinglights.tumblr.com/))


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